just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
