So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
