Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
