also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
