he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
