there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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