I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
