Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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