my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
