she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
