my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
