Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i dont even know how to be here
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
