Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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