His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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