Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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