yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
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You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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