Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
