he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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