If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
