I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize