Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
