dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
