So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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