Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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