Your favorite bartender is back from prision
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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