so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
