a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
