is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
