We won't sleep together?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
