problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
