its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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