i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize