batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
