Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
