UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
