i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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