Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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