sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
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Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
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I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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