32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
