mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize