how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
