Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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