I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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