Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
