i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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