I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
