wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
