where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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