Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
