The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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