you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
