You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just found a bag of teeth...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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