my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
