Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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