Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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