Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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