I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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