Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You can't motorboat a personality
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
