Three words: puerto rican gang bang
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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