You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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