So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize