Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i barfeds in our rink
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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