yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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